So yes today is the day the longest political battle of our time is about to draw to an end, and whatever the outcome it’s about to be the first the USA have ever seen. Just in case you didn’t know, if Obama wins it’ll be the first African American taking over the White House, or if McCain gets it…boy…he’ll be the OLDEST man ever to be president in their first term.
You may have been thinking…hey…how come Ace & Vis aren’t all over this? How come Ace & Vis haven’t jumped on the media overkill bandwagon…but don’t worry people. We’ve been all over the campaign, which has played out across the world with nothing, but drama, all the twists, turns, bitching, and shadiness, you could compare it to an Eastenders Christmas special. But that aside it’s all about the end…the result.
Obviously Ace & Vis can’t get involved cos we haven’t got the green card…(or British Passports in fact ssssh!!) BUT to all our people across the water (those of you who didn’t creep into the states in the middle of the night) get your vote on…vote correctly…and make history…and to all you who plan to stay up all night watching the results…here’s an Ace & Vis survival plan:
SNACKS – double up on everything and keep within close reach so there’s no missing vital info just cos your juice or popcorn finished. (Must include Red bull…it’s gonna be a long night)
SPARE BATTERIES – with all the channel hopping you’ll be doing you need to make sure the remote doesn’t die.
ALARM CLOCK – set it hourly just in case the facts, figures and bored newscaster re-hashing old bits of the campaign start sending you to sleep.
CALCULATOR – don’t trust what they say do your own calculations.
BOFFIN MATE – to explain the answer you got on your calculator as well as the rest like: statistics / percentages / swing states / Republican / Democrat / Political corruption / Tax Reforms etc….
VICTORY DANCE – practice that dance and get it right…cos if your candidate wins…then…show your love!! (Works best if a lot of you do it at once and preferably in the middle of a busy street, or your office, or any public place)
RICH/FAMOUS MATE – guaranteed if Obama wins, there will be celeb parties in key states:
NYC / ATL / MIAMI & LA for about a week, you need to get to at least one…this will only be possible if you have the right connects…
THERAPIST/SHOULDER TO CRY ON – if you candidate doesn’t make it you’re gonna really need a hug…(Ace & Vis post election tips will be available by request)
REALITY CHECK – We don’t live in the states!! We need to watch what our own government are getting up to!
SKY PLUS – cos seriously…you really gonna stay up all night and try and then go to work????? Record that ish….