The Rules...?

SIMPLE DUTIES

• You make the bed…..+1
• You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…..0
• You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1
• You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
• You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…..0
• When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
• When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom…. ; -2
• You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
• In the snow …..+8
• But return with beer…..-5
• And no liners…..-25
• You check out a suspicious noise at night…..0
• You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing…..0
• You check out a suspicious noise and it is something…..+5
• You pummel it with a six iron…..+10
• It’s her cat…..-40

AT THE PARTY

• You stay by her side the entire party…..0
• You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy…..-2
• Named Tiffany…..-4
• Tiffany is a dancer…..-10
• With breast implants…..-18

HER BIRTHDAY

• You remember her birthday…..0
• You buy a card and flowers…..0
• You take her out to dinner…..0
• You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…..+1
• Okay, it is a sports bar…..-2
• And it’s all-you-can-eat night…..-3
• It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and you r face is painted the colors of your favorite team ¦.-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

• Go with a pal…..0
• The pal is happily married…..+1
• The pal is single…..-7
• He drives a Ferrari…..-10
• With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)…..-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

• You take her to a movie…..+2
• You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
• You take her to a movie you hate…..+6
• You take her to a movie you like…..-2
• It’s called Death Cop III…..-3
• Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls…..-9
• You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

• You develop a noticeable pot belly…..-15
• You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it…..+10
• You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…..-30
• You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”…..-800

THE BIG QUESTION

• She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
• You hesitate in responding…..-10
• You reply, “Where?”…..-35
• You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”…..-100
• Any other response…..-20

COMMUNICATION

• When she wants to talk about a problem:
• You listen, displaying a concerned expression…..0
• You listen, for over 30 minutes…..+5
• You relate to her problem and share a similar experience…..+50
• Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “…well, what do you think I should do?”…..-100
• You have fallen asleep…..-200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

• You talk…..-100
• You don’t talk…..-150
• You spend time with her……-200
• You don’t spend time with her…..-500
• You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000

GAME OVER.

Props: Caffeine overload

Biz